Boyfriend Trouble

On Pinterest? Pin this graphic if you liked this post.

Book your discovery zoom call now. Hit the Button!

Or Sour Ex-Boyfriend Trouble!!

Bad Book Reviews = Bad Boyfriend :(

This post previously appeared on the Brigley Prior Books blog in 2021.

Hopefully, your boyfriends have been sweeter!

This a very well written love story with all sorts of twists and turns and an easy read that you won’t want to put down - (one of Flora’s more honest reviews!)

As a writer, you have to take the bad reviews with the good. You are definitely not going to please everybody and my fellow authors would agree we just have to take it on the chin. One star reviews happen.

But last year, before I started any real marketing for my books, I had a review left for Flora and the Homeless Gigolo that really didn’t make much sense to me.

First of all, it wasn’t a verified purchase, so it was not proven that this person had bought my book. I gleaned no further help by looking at the reviewer’s profile, nothing to indicate why this person would have chosen to read my book, going by their other preferences. Clearly a man of a certain age and it was immediately clear he hadn’t purchased any other romance titles.

Then more recently, when I checked again while preparing content for the Brigley Prior Books site, I noticed that there was now a different image and a name on the reviewer’s profile. The name wasn’t one bit familiar, but when I clicked on the picture, it all made perfect sense. Why someone would write ‘waste of time, utter trash.’

The Ex!

This was a man I had dated for a year in 2016/17. A man who three years later still bore me enough ill will to damage my fledgling review ratings.

He has been through a couple of legal names, I believe, since I knew him. A man with a truly horrible childhood, who I tried my best to be patient with, empathise with, because that’s the kind of person I try to be.

I met him at a time in my life when I was so low I thought someone so lost in his own struggle was the best I could hope for. I literally put a post out on a friendship site that I wanted to meet someone like myself, with a tough time in the past, looking to correspond, and I certainly manifested successfully. I asked for boyfriend trouble and boy did I get it. Note to self, ‘don’t ever tell the universe you are damaged and have lost all hope!’

There is nothing wrong with connecting with someone that is on the down and out, to try to have a relationship with them, but it’s not ok for that person to try to take you down with them. Or to think you are there purely to feed their ego, bail them out, and hopefully move them into your home!

I was an awful girlfriend!

I was so terrible to this man that I moved him and all his worldly possessions out of a homeless refuge and into a better situation (not my situation I hasten to add. I may have been down at the time, but I wasn’t totally stupid). I gave him a wonderful birthday and Christmas with good food and warmth and introduced him to my family and workmates. I allowed him to force my hand and included his name on all that year’s Christmas cards, before I was ready to define ‘us’. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings even though it made me uncomfortable.

Among other things that deserved his wrath, I bought groceries for him when I was working a minimum wage job. I paid pretty much every time we ate out, and he never looked for the budget option, always what would be his ‘treat’ for the day. There were many other things, other friends I roped into helping him on occasion.

I made an effort to organise outings, one memorable occasion where he threw a drink all over me (accidentally). The look that bartender gave me was priceless. It was like ‘what are you doing with this man?’

I even risked my job once, by leaving my colleague to cover while I drove a few streets away to find him because he’d got lost on the way to me.

In short, I did my best to nurture and support him. I tried to be what I wanted someone to be for me. And he rewarded my efforts by making me feel like nothing. He emailed me in 2018 to apologise for what he’d been when I knew him, and even then he couldn’t call me by my actual given name.

My name is Anne-Marie. It’s not that hard!

I was always Anne, or she, or sometimes just a pointed finger because he’d forgotten my name. On the first day we went out together, he took me into a jeweller’s shop and told them to measure ‘her’ finger. Full of bravado, ego, all the rest of it.

He had many health issues; weight, diabetes, many different reasons why he acted like he did. I coped with a lot because we did have some misguided connection. And I wanted to be in a relationship.

I am telling you this because it’s cathartic for me to get it out there. To remember how much I tried and that I don’t deserve mean-spiritedness. And it’s a warning to any other woman to always know your worth. Never settle. It’s great to be kind and to help someone out, but you don’t owe anyone your happiness and self-respect. Don’t swap companionship for respect. Don’t tolerate egotism just because you don’t want to be lonely.

Thank you for your words, but I’m not letting that in.

And this someone is not justified in being malicious to me three years after a break-up; a break-up that happened because I was exhausted, demoralised, and couldn’t do all the work anymore. I chose me, and my sanity, and that was tough to take apparently.

So, dear, blast from the past, 1 star reviewer. I don’t know your real name anymore, but I do still wish you well. I am glad you lost weight and settled some of your issues. I hope you continue to have a better life, after everything you told me you suffered you probably deserve it. But just know it will go far better for you if you finally ditch the childish streak of nastiness you blessed me with on many occasions.

Grow up.

Be happy, and thank you for the one day you sent me the most expensive bunch of flowers I may ever end up being sent.

It was too much; those flowers were more about you being seen to give them than it was me receiving them, I still prefer simple pleasures and honest, human kindness. By the way, suits don’t maketh the man either. You can have as many as you want, it doesn’t make you any more of a man.

And to the wonderful, warm, supportive romance reading community, if you would like to help balance the scale of one bad book review, please consider leaving a review for Flora on Amazon UK or US - But maybe read the book first! I think that’s the way it’s supposed to work!

P.S. I should have known there was a problem when the dogs didn’t like him!

And if you are having boyfriend trouble of your own, and you just can’t seem to get clear of him (or her/they/them), book a free discovery call. Let’s see what’s blocking you from having a really loving person in your life.

Thanks for reading xx

---

About Me

Hello, I’m Anne-Marie. I am a RTT Practitioner, Romance Author, Championship Dog Show Judge.

I have a lot going on! But my primary focus is helping people achieve their personal and professional goals, whatever they may be. If you’re struggling, I am the kind of person you want in your corner.

Click here to book your free discovery call now

Related Posts